I’ve learned a lot of things in my lifetime but no lesson
has been more obvious to me than this
one. Whatever you have been in your
past, whatever you are now are or whatever you will be in the future is due not
just in part but almost totally to what your childhood was like. Or as we say here in the South—your raisin’.
I say that based on nearly sixty years of observation and
since I consider myself a good judge of people I think my observations are pretty
good. I do get fooled from time to time
but it’s rare for that to happen. And
when it does I can usually look back and figure out where I misread something.
I think some of the biggest societal problems we have in
this country today are a direct result of lousy parenting, economic hardship,
single parenting, violent environments both inside and outside the home, latchkey
kids, etc. Let’s face it. Being a parent is hard work. Damn hard. Even if you have abundant parental skills you still have to deal with tremendous
outside influences that can take over your home environment.
I also think every child needs his mother at home in the
formative years, say from one to six years old. I do realize that it may not be realistic or
practical in the economic sense but I think it’s a huge advantage to any child
that has it. Yes, I know that it doesn’t
guarantee a well-balanced child that can be a productive member of society but
it certainly greases the skids for one. I had that advantage and I think it made a huge difference for me.
While I understand the need (pardon the expression) I don’t
much care for day care. Sometimes I think we choose material wealth over our kids future. I don’t like
kids having unlimited access to computers or to television either. There’s just too much bad stuff there. On Frontline last night there was a
show about kids being online and some said their best friends were people they
had met online but never met in person. That’s just crazy. It reminds me
that not all technological advancement is actually advancement.
Sometimes my eighty-seven father will say or do something
that reminds me how much hurt he still carries from losing his mother at age
eight. That hurt still exists nearly
eighty years later. I think kids can be
just as badly hurt by some of the other things that I’ve mentioned in this post. And those things also will last a lifetime,
frequently accompanied by an inability to cope with life's demands. That's really sad to me.
I know from my own experiences that life is hard enough even when you're had a good raisin'. I can certainly understand when others who haven't been as fortunate have difficulty living theirs.
January 23, 2008 in
Life |
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Sometimes knowing that is the only thing that keeps me going. Where would my babies be if...
On the flip side, I live in a part of the country where the SAHMs have nannies and do just about anything to avoid time with their kids. Why? This kills me. I don't suppose I have to work. I love to work. It provides the income to put us in an environment that I want my kids in (rural, good school system), but the bottom line is I bolt out of my office and rush home as fast as I can to be with these kids and I just don't understand what would have a mother avoid them? I rant. Sorry.
Posted by: Alecto at Jan 23, 2008 7:43:45 PM
I was fortunate to have my mother home during the day. However, my own children were not so lucky, as a single parent - I had to work. I can definitely see the difference in how they approached adulthood. My daughter, now 23, is just now getting it together and into college. My son, newly 18, has just inlisted in the Navy - so proud, yet so scared!!
Posted by: Katherine at Jan 24, 2008 1:06:50 PM
Kat, I think the Navy will do wonders for him. Or any other 18 year old. It will make him a man. You will be even more proud of him than you are now.
Posted by: Lewis at Jan 24, 2008 2:11:19 PM
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