1. Marry any of the "real housewives" on television.
2. Have anyone with the last name of Pelosi or Reid in charge of my health care.
3. Find out that I was married to Rosie O'Donnell in my former life.
4. Tell anyone that I'm having an argument with that I'll give them the last word.
5. Win an award when Kanye West is in the audience.
6. Become a guest on Oprah or Dr. Phil.
7. Have plastic surgery anywhere other than my face.
8. Receive a compliment from Michael Moore or Sean Penn.
9. Tweet.
10. Become a greeter at Wal-Mart.
October 29, 2009 in
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